First Draft
School uniforms should be compulsory. [removed] Uniforms make everyone look the same. This is good because nobody gets teased about their clothes. Also uniforms save money. I think schools should have uniforms.
Preview with sample data
Student Writing Journey
A record of how a student goes from independent writing, through diagnosis and teacher guidance, to their own revision. It shows the learning, not only the final essay.
This page is a design preview. The student and the writing are fictional, and no real student work is shown. The feature is still being built, and the text below describes how it is designed to work.
- 01 First Draft
The student writes alone
The first piece a student writes on their own, in class and under time limits. It is kept exactly as submitted, with the time it was handed in, how long it took and its word count. A revision never overwrites it.
- 02 Diagnosis
The writing is read against the rubric
The draft is read against the lesson rubric. Each finding points to the student's own sentence, explains why it affects the writing and asks a question that helps the student think. Structure problems are kept apart from language problems. The system never rewrites the essay.
- 03 Teacher Feedback
A teacher confirms what matters
A teacher confirms the main problems, picks the two or three goals that matter most for this revision, and adds guidance on specific sentences. Only the teacher-confirmed version is shown.
- 04 Student Revision
The student revises in their own words
Both versions are kept side by side, with added, removed and replaced text marked. The page also shows whether each teacher goal was addressed.
- 05 Progress Evidence
Two measures, kept apart
Revision Improvement compares the first draft with the revision. Independent Writing Growth compares an independent first draft early in the year with a later one. A smoother revision is not taken as proof of stronger independent writing.
A sample journey
A fictional Year 8 student writes to persuade: should school uniforms be compulsory?
Student Revision
School uniforms should be compulsory [added] because they reduce pressure on students and on families. Firstly, when everyone wears the same clothes, nobody gets teased about what they own. In our class discussion, many students said they worry about being judged on brand names. Secondly, uniforms cost less over a year than a changing wardrobe of casual clothes. This matters because families can spend that money on books and trips instead. Some people say uniforms limit self-expression, but students can still show who they are through their writing, sport and friendships. For these reasons, schools should keep uniforms.
Added Removed or replaced
Diagnosis on six dimensions
Scores are on a four-level scale. The sample shows the first draft and the revision side by side.
| Dimension | First draft | Revision | Change |
|---|---|---|---|
| Structure and ideas | |||
| Thesis / Main Idea | 2 / 4 | 3 / 4 | Improved |
| Structure | 2 / 4 | 3 / 4 | Improved |
| Evidence & Analysis | 2 / 4 | 3 / 4 | Improved |
| Cohesion | 2 / 4 | 2 / 4 | Same |
| Language and expression | |||
| Language | 3 / 4 | 3 / 4 | Same |
| Vocabulary | 3 / 4 | 3 / 4 | Same |
What a finding looks like
Thesis / Main Idea
I think schools should have uniforms.
It repeats the position but gives no reason, so the reader cannot tell what the writer is arguing.
What is your strongest reason for this view?
Evidence & Analysis
Also uniforms save money.
It is a claim with nothing to back it up or explain it.
Save how much, and for whom? What difference does it make?
What the teacher confirms
Only the teacher-confirmed version is shown. A suggestion that a teacher has not confirmed does not appear.
Main problems
- The opinion is clear but the reasons are not developed.
- No evidence supports the points.
- Ideas sit in one block with no clear order.
Goals for this revision
- Give two reasons, each in its own part.
- Add one piece of evidence for each reason.
- Explain why each reason matters.
The student's own task: rewrite it in your own words. The system will not rewrite it for you.
What kind of change was it?
Each change is labelled, so a tidy-up is not mistaken for better thinking.
- Idea Development. A reason is now given for the position.
- Evidence Improvement. A point from class discussion supports the first reason.
- Structural Improvement. The reasons are separated with Firstly and Secondly.
- Logical Improvement. The sentence starting "This matters because" explains why the saving counts.
- Language Correction. "Should have" became "should keep". Wording only.
Fixing spelling or wording is not the same as better structure or thinking. Language-only edits are reported on their own and are never counted as structural or idea improvement.
Did the revision answer the teacher's goals?
- Two reasons, each in its own part: Done
- Evidence for each reason: Partly (one of two)
- Explain why each reason matters: Done
Progress evidence
Two different questions, answered separately.
Revision Improvement
First draft against revision. Did the student understand and apply the feedback?
Thesis, Structure and Evidence & Analysis went up. Cohesion, Language and Vocabulary stayed the same.
Independent Writing Growth
An independent first draft early in the year against a later one. Can the student use these skills on a new piece without help?
Shown only when two independent pieces can fairly be compared. Until a later independent draft exists, nothing is shown.
A smoother revision does not prove stronger independent writing, so the two measures are never merged.
Writing Progress Summary
A teacher confirms this before the student sees it.
What improved?
The reasons are now explained. For example: "Secondly, uniforms cost less over a year than a changing wardrobe of casual clothes."
What still needs work?
Cohesion, Language and Vocabulary did not move this time.
Next Writing Goal
- Cohesion: end each part with a sentence that links the reason back to your opinion.
- Language: read your draft aloud and fix any sentence that makes you stumble.
Awaiting Student RevisionUntil the student submits a second version, nothing is generated and no revision is shown.
How it is meant to work for teachers and the classroom
- Teacher review comes first: nothing an AI suggests is meant to become a conclusion until a teacher confirms it.
- A presentation mode for the projector is planned to hide student names and other identifying details.
- This page shows no real student work.
- Each version is meant to keep its time and where its feedback came from.
Still being built
The live student and teacher screens, the saved diagnosis for each draft, the labelling of each change and the presentation mode are in development. The page above shows how they are meant to read.